“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” ~ Reinhold Niebuhr
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The seasons are changing again. Summer fades out to make room for the brilliant colors of autumn. My emotions become more acute in the cool, crisp air. I remember hints of golden times from a childhood that is gone, never to return. I am in awe of the beauty of life, which seems to take on a sweet simplicity this time of year.
Life is filled with more change than just the seasons. So many patterns, both big and small, have been altered of late. Changes that bring heart-ache, loneliness, and confusion. Good is coming from it, though. I have had to face myself - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am changing into the person I need to be; growing up. An uncomfortable process, but a good one. I am learning who I really am, becoming more expressive, deepening my faith, restoring neglected relationships, and beginning to work on neglected tasks.
One thing I have learned about myself is that I have been very selfish. I've been looking at what I can get out of life and what I can get out of the people in my life. I've basically just lived my life for myself, doing what I felt I needed to do to keep myself happy, not giving much thought to how I effect others. I wanted people around me to fix my problems, make me happy, and fill my needs. I didn't worry about using my life to bless others. I didn't care about enriching other people's lives and helping them with their needs. God has been opening my eyes to this grave fault of mine. I have started to see that true love is not getting - true love is giving. While I am certainly far from rooting out all selfishness from my life, I have started to realize the beauty of caring for others; focusing on them more than myself. It is it's own reward. Giving of yourself, I'm learning, is more fulfilling than anything you can get.
The seasons are changing again. Summer fades out to make room for the brilliant colors of autumn. My emotions become more acute in the cool, crisp air. I remember hints of golden times from a childhood that is gone, never to return. I am in awe of the beauty of life, which seems to take on a sweet simplicity this time of year.
Life is filled with more change than just the seasons. So many patterns, both big and small, have been altered of late. Changes that bring heart-ache, loneliness, and confusion. Good is coming from it, though. I have had to face myself - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am changing into the person I need to be; growing up. An uncomfortable process, but a good one. I am learning who I really am, becoming more expressive, deepening my faith, restoring neglected relationships, and beginning to work on neglected tasks.
One thing I have learned about myself is that I have been very selfish. I've been looking at what I can get out of life and what I can get out of the people in my life. I've basically just lived my life for myself, doing what I felt I needed to do to keep myself happy, not giving much thought to how I effect others. I wanted people around me to fix my problems, make me happy, and fill my needs. I didn't worry about using my life to bless others. I didn't care about enriching other people's lives and helping them with their needs. God has been opening my eyes to this grave fault of mine. I have started to see that true love is not getting - true love is giving. While I am certainly far from rooting out all selfishness from my life, I have started to realize the beauty of caring for others; focusing on them more than myself. It is it's own reward. Giving of yourself, I'm learning, is more fulfilling than anything you can get.
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