A Living Christian

So I was reading Now, That's A Good Question by R. C. Sproul last night and this was one thing that struck me particularly:

Salt is that which gives zest, tang, taste to life. I think Christians, of all people, should manifest a kind of zest, a kind of excitement for life -- a passion for living; they should be fun to be around. Even the apostles tell us that our speech should be seasoned with salt. Now that doesn't mean that we're supposed to talk like sailors, but it does mean that there should be some wit, some color and vitality. We are people who have been blessed with a new life and abundant life, the very life of Christ.

I think that to be salt of the earth is to be people who are exciting to be with, people who add to life rather than take away from it. I express that because so often we are perceived as being dull, stern, prudish, moralistic -- all of those things we are no intended to be. We are to be salt to people -- to add taste and zest. Not only salt, but light. The basic meaning of light in the Scriptures is the enlightenment that God's truth brings. Those of us who are Christians are called to have a passion for truth. We should care about learning the right way to do things.

So often the church is seen as an echo of the culture. We let progress be in the hands of those outside the church. I think the Bible calls the church to be on the cutting edge of life; we are supposed to be leading the culture rather than following it, and I think that's what it means to be a light -- a light to show people the way to go out of darkness. When we see, for example, a labor-management arena filled with hostility and strife, we, as Christians, should be showing models of labor-management relationships in which that hostility somehow is overcome. That's what it means to light to the world -- to show the world a more excellent way.

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Lately I've been wondering just how we can do things like read fiction and knit scarves and do it live for the glory of God. After reading this (and other parts of the book), I think I have a little better understanding. I see how much living my life should have in it BECAUSE I am a Christian. I've been redeemed in Jesus' blood and have been set free. I'm not under the law anymore. There is a meaning in everything that I do because of Christ in my life that the unsaved don't have. My mind has been renewed with this understanding. I should be spending plenty of time expressing joy and zest.

Expression comes through communication. How does one develop good communication? Through scholarship, literacy, and creativity. For the Christian, schooling, reading, music, arts & crafts, poetry, writing, etc. are NOT worldly. They are vital! These things develop our minds, training them in logic. They give us tools for expression. For example, as salty Christians, we should have a rich vocabulary with which to express ourselves. What's the best way to encourage excellent vocabulary? Voracious reading. So bring on the Jane Eyre's and the David Copperfield's! Of course, the merits of reading don't end with vocabulary expansion. Good literature encourages us morally, increases our discernment, gives us ideas -- and more. All of this helps to make us a person who is exciting to be with, as Sproul talks about. A person who has a rich store of good ideas and a interesting vocabulary with which to express them can only be so. And, most importantly, this gives the Christian a more effective ministry. He has the right words to communicate his faith accurately and beautifully.

"Everything is permissible," we are told in the Scriptures. We are not under the law and are free to choose how we spend our time. There is no sin in reading, music, painting, knitting, poetry, etc. These are excellent activities for the Christian whose mind has been renewed and who views these activities in the proper light, thus glorifying God. He should find no guilt in enjoying those things that suit his particular tastes. Of course, the Scriptures continue on to remind us that "not everything is beneficial." While it is important to be well educated, literate, and creative, we must be mindful not to pursue these things at the expense of the other duties God has given us. Prioritizing is important -- don't read so much that you let the laundry pile up.

Can Theology and Love Coexist?

From Essential Truths Of The Christian Faith by R. C. Sproul:

With respect to the primacy of the importance, the heart is first. If I have correct doctrine in my head but no love for Christ in my heart, I have missed the kingdom of God. It is infinitely more important that my heart be right before God than that my theology be impeccably correct.

However, for my heart to be right, there is a primacy of the intellect in terms of order. Nothing can be in my heart that is not first in my head How can I love a God or a Jesus about whom I understand nothing? Indeed, the more I come to understand the character of God, the greater is my capacity to love Him.

God reveals Himself to us in a book. That book is written in word. It communicates concepts that must be understood by the mind. Certainly mysteries remain. But the purpose of God's revelation is that we understand it with out minds that it might penetrate out hearts. To despise the study of theology is to despise learning the Word of God.

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My thoughts on the matter:

This is where I think so many churches today fail. Fail miserably. They teach the need for accepting Christ and that we should love Him and depend on Him to sustain us and then -- throw us to the curb. They tell us to love Him but give us no knowledge of this Person we are supposed to be loving. Week after week, we are spoon-fed as babes the same message of repentance. Yes, repentance should be a part of every sermon every Sunday. But the theme? The focus? No! Where does this lead the Christians who have already come to Christ? What good does it do them to hear what they already know? They are not being equipped with any teaching to help them know and love God more or navigate the treacherous waters of the world we live in. As the church fails to educate believers, keeping them on a diet of milk when they need meat, Christians are being starved of the nourishment they so desperately need.

Without nourishment, Christians cannot grow. They become stagnant. Many are not even aware of their condition, happily continuing on in a "hippy-dippy-trippy" complacency. They don't want to know. They only want to worship a God who will make them feel good and give them what they want. Church and worship are simply a way to ensure to continue along, blissfully and tragically, on an emotional high. Without thinking too hard, they never have to face anything that might make them uncomfortable. They never grow. They never become effectual. They never truly know God. They are content to sit and hear, week after week, that they need Christ, that they must be careful not to stray off the path, that they must trust God, that they must be careful to always forgive others, and, every four years, a sermon or two about voting pro-life. Are these true Christians? No one can judge their salvation but God. But they are certainly a far cry from mature, effectual Christians. They do not have a deep relationship with God because they know nothing about Him; they are self-centered, not God-centered. And the church has done nothing to instruct them.

What pains my heart, however, are the Christians who are aware that something is missing but don't know where to find it. Those who face challenges in life are not given the tools to deal with them. They are told they simply need to pray more or have more faith. They are not taught anything about what the Bible says our struggles in life are actually for. This leads to, at best, frustration and heartache, and, at worst, distrust and cynicism. And there are Christians in the church who actually think. Who are not content with the endless cycle of basic truths and emotion based "religion". Who want to love God, but are frustrated because they can't and they don't know why.

As R. C. Sproul states, the love of God will not penetrate our hearts until we have understood God's revelation with our minds. This knowledge comes from a study of God's word and theology. Sadly, few Christians even know what theology actually is. The church at large has thrown out theology (the reasons are far too involved for this little post). And Christians are suffering for it. The world is suffering for it. I believe that the higher level of unrestrained sin in the world today is directly related to the throwing out of theology in the vast majority of evangelical churches. This should only make sense. Christians with their focus on themselves, who don't know God fully, who are immature spiritually, and who base their faith in emotion are ineffectual -- they are not salty. They cannot preserve the world.

I think many Christians are afraid of theology because it conjures up images of stuffy, lackluster, performance-based churches. Going back to R. C. Sproul again, yes, love for God is vastly more important than getting your theology right. Showing up in a suit and tie every Sunday, reciting catechisms and creeds, and following traditions are meaningless on their own. Something I've come to see recently is that a lot of Christians who have their theology right aren't anymore effectual than Christians who have never even heard of theology. They care more about getting the theology right than they care about loving God and going out in the world and serving Him. This is not a truly satisfying way, either.

You cannot ignore theology because some churches put too much emphasis on performance and tradition. You cannot throw out loving God because some churches put too much emphasis on emotion. As R. C. Sproul explains, going to one extreme or the other does not solve the problem. As with so many things in life it is a balance. Not only is it possible for theology and love coexist, it is essential that they do! Seek to find that balance and don't give up until you have found it. Unfortunately, churches that have things in better balance seem to be a rarity these days. But I think they can still be found. Not all under the same name, or same denomination, or with the same appearance. Don't look to those things alone. Look to the heart of what is really being taught.

The Quoatables - Episode 1

Stuff that I've read recently that I found interesting...

In the other, the sunken life,
in the world of green feedings,
all the leaves say yes, meadows
of curved stems say yes and warmth
flows from the depth of this yes
out toward horizons where hills
are still transparent and the ground
white with drippings from the moon.
Waking from this memory of green,
we'll face the skirmish of each day,
with hostages retrieved from the night.
This time will be different, new patterns
for the feet, wings for the eye,
rhythms for the heart, and our names
everywhere like grass.
-Ruth Daigon, "All The Leaves Say Yes"

"Anne walked home very slowly in the moonlight. The evening had changed something for her. Life held a different meaning, a deeper purpose. On the surface it would go on just the same; but the deeps had been stirred. It must not be with her as with poor butterfly Ruby. When she came to the end of one life it must not be to face the next with the shrinking terror of something wholly different--something for which accustomed thought and ideal and aspiration had unfitted her. The little things of life, sweet and excellent in their place, must not be the things lived for; the highest must be sought and followed; the life of heaven must be begun here on earth."
-from Anne of the Island, by L. M. Montgomery

"Always one for immaculate scientific technique, Leeuwenhoek proceeded to acquire some of his own semen for comparison. He made sure not to collect the sample through sinful self-abuse, but rather during the act of making love to his wife. In order to obtain the freshest possible sample, Leeuwenhoek reported in a letter to the Royal Society in England, he jumped up, collected the specimen, popped it into the microscope, and inspected in 'immediately after ejaculation, before six heartbeats had passed.'
"We can only imagine what Leeuwenhoek's wife thought of her place in history."
-from How Life Begins - The Science of Life in the Womb, by Christopher Vaughan

"So when 250 million sperm (about the same number as there are people in the United States) blast into the female genital tract at the rate of 200 inches per second (10 miles an hour), they begin an ancient journey like that of some aboriginal tribe wandering across the tundra. The attrition rate of this march is enormous: so many frail, crippled, and simply lost sperm drop away that most often only a few dozen ever reach the egg."
-also from How Life Begins

"Heart must be the hardier, courage the keener,
Spirit the greater, as our strength lessens."
--The Battle of Maldon

"Wordsworth talked about poetry as being 'a spontaneous overflow of emotion recollected in tranquility.' Young poets too often emphasize the 'overflow' rather than the 'recollection.' Recollection implies a disciplinary process that is essential when composing love poetry." -- Ruth Daigon

"Outside the door I am aware of the darkness and the wind as a deliverance. I breathe as deep as I can, and feel the breeze in my face, warm and soft as never before. Thoughts of girls, of flowery meadows, of white clouds suddenly come into my head. My feet begin to move forward in my boots, I go quicker, I run. Soldiers pass by me, I hear their voices without understanding. The earth is streaming with forces which pour into me through the soles of my feet. The night crackles electrically, the front thunders like a concert of drums. My limbs move supplely, I feel my joints strong, I breathe the air deeply. The night lives, I live. I feel a hunger, greater than comes from the belly alone."
-from All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque

"In England you get a lot more action for your money. In the first place, in order to read the directions for operating the telephone, you have to stand on your head in the telephone booth, because the card of instructions had been thoughtfully placed about two feet from the floor. This would be easier for some types of customers than Mrs. Appleyard. For instance, an India-rubber woman would probably be good at it, or a pygmy, or a very small bushwoman from Australia. If they could read, of course. Perhaps the telephone company doesn't really expect colonials to read. Probably, like Oxford and Cambridge, it believes in the tutorial system."
-from Mrs. Appleyard's Year by Louise Andrews Kent, 1941. The humor in this book is right up my ally and amuses me to no end. :D

"'Wooshers,' Said Emily. 'WOOSHERS!'"

It's great to wake up one morning and realize you have no idea what you want anymore. Ok, so maybe that's not exactly what happened. But still.

Three things I have realized that are sort of distinct yet sort of tie in with each other:

1. My life is not on the path to achieve any of the "little plans" I've had in my head. Some of this is because of my own folly/squandered time, some of it is due to things that are beyond my control. Nevertheless, the reality of my life is very different than the plans I created in my head.

2. I was wanting a lot of things because I thought I was supposed to want them, not necessarily because I DID want them. Well, I thought I wanted them. But I feel like I was largely influenced to want them by things I was reading. Like, all the Christian articles about getting married and having kids young thing. Now I'm thinking, can you really boil it down to a formula for everyone like that? Seriously. I don't think people should get married young OR old now -- that's between them and God. Sure, there are wrong, selfish reasons for putting off marriage, but there can be wrong, selfish reasons for getting married young, too. I'm just saying that everyone is on a different path and are placed on that path by GOD. They have to make sure they are right in their decisions on that matter with Him. After all, there is no commandment on the age thou shalt marry... :P

Also, I'm not saying that everything I wanted/didn't want was because I thought I was supposed to, entirely. I'm just thinking now, "DO I really want this because *I* want it?" Like, do I really NOT want to go to college? Do I really want to homeschool my kids? Do I really want 5 kids? Do I really .... etc. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I don't know. I'm just allowing myself to CONSIDER the other options - going to college, not homeschooling my kids, not having five kids, etc. - to see how I feel about that.

and 3. There were things that I wanted that weren't entirely for the right reasons. I think a large part of the reason I wanted to get married and have kids young was so I wouldn't have to face all these questions and/or use it to avoid other things I didn't want to have to deal with. Not cool.

So that's some of what's been floating around in my brain lately... Ok, more like crashing around my brain, lol. :P

Aches and Waynes

I walked home through the "fading light" under the amber glow of the street lights, listening to Blindside, who always seem to come in handy around this time of year.

I've changed. I'm not in a rush anymore, or needing to take up all the time. I just want the chance to know more completely through sensible, gradual accumulation.

Dearth

the audacity to live stung deep, to the circulatory atriums,
woke a sleeping dryad, cocooned in the soul.
breath breathed breath and rose to starry firmaments,
loosing all sense of solid ground.
precipitancy, then, sharp and well marked, made a rent
into the dryad, draining fast her breath.
disconsolate-eyed, heavy head, she lifts her fragile arms,
tear-stained acclimation aches for recrudescence.
the absence of time spent tucked in pockets
fills the space where the breaths belong,
a strange beat pounds out a constant rhythm
only felt, not stirring the tympanic membrane.
she marches on, tiny dryad, on a languorous quest
searching for the oracle to break her chains of
perturbation and perplexity -- asking constant cunnundrums:
how can she live without breathing?
for in that breath she was found cognizant.

--Me

Grr.

There are moments when I am fairly insane with impatience. I grow so tired of the lack of real conversation; typing is so inefficient and I've so much to say. And I'm so irritable these days. Although that's probably from getting up earlier. I know it's all for my good, but ... *sigh* I wish it was already all good.

Addendum: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7. I read that this morning. I shouldn't be impatient. I shouldn't be grumpy about it. It's for my good - I should be rejoicing in that and peacefully trusting God with thanksgiving to work it all out.

First of September

Today, on a whim, I decided to go outside and flop down on the grass. The ground was warm under me and the sun was warm upon me; an Ashlee sandwich. I basked there for a while, and then began to feel a bit damp, but I didn't mind. It was too bright for cloud gazing and I wasn't able to get much thinking done between my sister coming out and throwing grass on me and the kids my mom babysits coming out to play with rocks. They're 1 and 3. Both boys - of course. As a rule (though not by our own making) we never get anything other than boys. Josiah, the older one, is rather fond of me and we played with blocks today. Logan, however, pretty much hates me. He cries whenever he so much as looks at me. I don't know why. *shrug*

Anyway, after the kids went inside (Logan didn't want to at first until my mom left and he realized he would be alone with me ... THEN he ran inside :/) I had a bit of time for thinking. I observed the garden and thought that one small sunflower looked like it was chuckling at some joke when the breeze struck it. The other larger sunflowers looked rather forlorn. They're top heavy and bent over, like they're mourning the end of summer and that they won't live to see the beauty of autumn. I also thought that it might be nice to have a perfume that smelled like a tomato warm in the sun. I don't like common, heavy, "grandma" perfumes; I'm always on the hunt for something unique and "underwhelming."

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. I had to keep the cat in my room while the carpet cleaners were here. That was a bit challenging as I had to make sure she stayed away from the bird. The little brat pulled his cage down a week or so ago. It scared them both (ok, all of us) more than anything; Seattle wasn't hurt and he didn't escape. So I had to keep a close eye on her this time. She managed to stay out of mischief, although she annoyed me at the end when she went under the bed and bit me (and possibly hissed) when I tried to remove her. Animals.

I also returned books to the library and went to Walmart, but there is nothing very interesting in that. Or the fact that my mother has enlisted me to help her clean the kitchen. Blah. I'm not in a social mood today. Hopefully I can get that out of the way fairly quickly and spend the rest of the evening in peaceful solitude, reading or studying.