I was sitting in the park this afternoon thinking about how fast this year has gone by. It was weird to me that it has already been over three months since I sat under a tree there and thought about how I was coming to the start of the rest of my life. Well, a lot happened since that day. All my plans were upset and scattered across the table. My world turned upside down. It felt so dreadful, but it turns out is was the best thing that could have happened. I've had to face so much of myself. Which hasn't been pleasant, sure. But now I know my strengths and weaknesses so much better. I know how to live a life that is more pleasing to God. I've learned so much about life. And so even though the things that I thought were going to happen, the things I wanted to happen, didn't, I think I was still right when I suspected I was heading towards big change. It just wasn't external change, it was internal. Now I see that there's no way I can get to any major external change until the "minor" internal changes have been realized. I've found that you can make plans, but you can't trust in them. You can only trust God. Only He knows what you truly need. So you have to take life one day at a time, work on the tasks at hand, and let the grand plan unfold gradually.
I've been such a baby. I can only shake my head at some of the things I've said and done over the year. I thought I knew so much but really I knew next to nothing. I'm still far from being mature. I think I'm more in the toddler stage now. You know, able to walk but still falling down frequently - not good at it yet. But if I keep going, eventually I'll get somewhere. I just need to be a little more patient about it.
Dang. I wonder what will happen in the next three months to round off this crazy year? Only one way to find out: one day at a time...
No comments:
Post a Comment